Returning Home
by Monsterchild
Summary: Tommy left for a tour over a year ago but has yet to return. Jude on the other hand is busy caring for his child that he doesn't know about but she's worked hard trying to tell him. When he finally returns home, he's in for a surprise.
1. And then he was gone

Returning Home

Dislcaimer: I don't own Instant Star (or Bowling for Soup).

Chapter 1: And then he was gone...

Tommy and I shared something special. We felt a bond that we hadn't felt with anyone else. I had my big break and he only made me better. But he needed something too. He'd spent so much time with me and he deserved more than to help teenage girls produce their albums. By the time I turned 19, he was starting to be known again. He was about to make it big, on his own.

He left for his tour about a year ago. He was supposed to be back by now. I just suspect that he met someone better while he was on tour and decided to never come back. I guess it was for the best, maybe he's better off, maybe I'm better off. I just don't know. That's what Jamie and Kat keep telling me. They keep saying that little Tommy and I are better off without him.

I've tried to tell him about Tommy Jr. so many times. I've called him once a month since he left and he hasn't returned the call. I've emailed him but no response. I just figure when he realizes that I tried to contact him, he just erases it, not wanting his new girlfriend to know about me. Maybe he's thought about calling but he just doesn't know what to say. Maybe he just doesn't know how to react to the fact that he's a father.

But I doubt it. I was about one month in when he left. I didn't know until he was gone that I was pregnant. He was the first person I wanted to tell. I called him all freaked out but excited, of course he didn't answer. I've thought about giving up, just letting it go, forgetting about him and not telling him. It's a hard thought but it may be easier in the long run, just giving up. Which is what I'm going to do, if he wanted to be involved with our lives he would've called by now.

I know it sound cliche but, I remember him leaving like it was just yesterday.

"So a six month tour? That's big," I said to him.

"You've said that a million times," he replied. He had his bag slung over his shoulder as we stood in the airport.

"It's cool that I know an international superstar."

He placed a hand on my waist. "You are an international superstar, Jude."

"Well, I won't argue with you on that." I smiled up at him. "Hey, don't hold back, give it all you got. You should sing your version of 24 hours, it's really good and my favorite."

"I'll do my best. Look, you know about..."

"Being on tour? Yeah, I know. And I won't hold anything that happens on the road against you."

"And that's why your great. You're understanding. I love you, Jude."

"I love you too, Tommy."

He leaned down and kissed her in a long, passionate embrace.

I watched him as he waved good-bye and boarded the plane.

I should've known then that he would take advantage of my trust in him. When I said that I wouldn't hold anything against him, I at least expected him to come back. But what's done is done and there's no changing it now.

I finally decided to give up on contacting him.

"Jude!" Sadie called through my bedroom door. She came in uninvited and said, "It's the 15th. Half way through the month. The day you call Tommy, hoping he calls you back. Am I not being clear?"

"No, Sades, It's not that. I'm just not going to call him."

"What!" She shouted.

"Shh! Sadie, Tommy's sleeping." I walked over to his crib and looked down at the sleeping baby boy. "I've tried telling him so many times but if he doesn't call, then he just doesn't call. I don't see the point of trying to stay in touch if he doesn't want to."

Sadie walked over to me and hugged me. "You don't need him, Jude."

"I know that."

The truth was that I didn't know that I was better off. Like the Bowling for Soup song says, I hope he's happy, happy without me.

Little did I know, everything was going to come back and bite me in the ass.

AN: Keep reading! More's on the way! I hope you like it! Please Review!


	2. Sweet Surprises

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 2: Sweet Surprises.

AN: To RedLA, Jude was 19 when they hooked up.

I kept my music career going even if I was now a parent. Actually when the press got word of my pregnancy, my CD sales went up. I guess people liked the idea of me being a parent.

Sadie helped me care for Tommy while I recorded but then I held him and cared for him all the other times. It was tough but I got through everything alright.

I was at G Major when my life got turned upside down, again.

"Here's Tommy," Sadie said, passing him over to me. "It sounded good."

"Thanks, Sis. You know I wouldn't be able to do this without you," I replied, taking him out of her arms.

"I know, you've told me in every acceptance speech since he was born."

I laughed. "That's quite true." I walked back into the studio and sat down. I listened to the newly recorded remix of 24 hours and said, "I think it needs a little more bass."

"I totally agree," Jamie added.

"Thank you, Musical Gandalf," I joked. I looked up out the window that was in the door. I dropped me jaw in astonishment. "It can't be..." I mumbled.

"What?" Jamie asked.

I pointed out the window. "That."

Jamie looked at what I was pointing to and dropped his jaw as well. "No way..."

The door swung open and there stood someone who I thought I'd never see again.

"Tommy?" I spat out. Tommy Jr. squirmed in my arms at the sound of his name.

"Jude! It's good to see you!" He called, excited.

"Hey..." I said.

He paused for a second, thinking over what I said. "Hey? I've been gone for a year and all you have to say is hey?"

I handed Tommy Jr. over to Jamie.

"Jude, you know I'm not good with ki-" He whined.

"Shut up, Jamie." I stood and walked up to Tommy. "What do you want me to say Tommy? Oh hi, good to see you, it's alright that you never returned any of my phone calls and that you were gone for six months longer than you were supposed to be."

"Okay, um, let me explain. I met someone on the road."

"I figured as much."

"She convinced me to stay with her for a while longer."

"Again, I figured as much."

"Then just a few weeks ago we broke up and I decided to return here."

"See Tom..." Tommy Jr. squirmed again. "When I said that I wouldn't hold anything against you, that was expecting that you came back, which you didn't."

"Okay, I deserved that but it's not like you stayed out of relationships." He motioned towards Jamie and Tommy Jr.

"I have a kid, yeah."

"I hope you are happy together."

I paused out of shock. "You think Jamie and me ha- Oh, you got to be kidding. Jamie and Kat are engaged. The kid is mine and... yours."

He shook his head. "No... I don't believe it."

"Well..." I took my son from Jamie and walked back over to Tommy. "Meet your son, Tommy Jr." The little boy giggled.

Tommy rubbed his forehead and stared down at me. "So when did you find out you were expecting a child?"

"A few weeks after you left."

"And you didn't think you should tell me?"

"Are you kidding? I've e-mailed you, called you, and if you ever picked up a tabloid, you would've known!" Tommy Jr. started crying when I yelled. I handed him back to Jamie and said, "Take him out to Sadie, she can take care of him for the moment."

Jamie left the room with my son in his arms.

Georgia, EJ, and Kwest sat in shock at our conversation. "Do you want us to leave?" Kwest asked.

"No, Kwest, you guys can stay I just didn't Tommy Jr. in here." I looked back at Tom. "This was world wide news! It was on the cover of every tabloid around the globe!"

"I didn't pick up a tabloid! Did you expect me to? Is that the way you wanted me to find out?"

"No! I called you the second I found out! You were the first person I wanted to tell! But I got your voice mail so I left a message and you never called me back!"

"I didn't get the message!"

"Oh right! Like I'm supposed to believe that!

"Maybe you didn't really send messages and just want to make this seem like all my fault!"

"I called and e-mailed you once a month! Ask Sadie, Jamie, EJ, Georgia, even Kwest! They'll tell you!"

Tommy looked at the three, looking for an answer. "Did she?"

Kwest was the one to answer. "Yeah, man, she did."

I paused for a minute, a thought hitting me. "When did you meet that woman on tour?"

"Oh do we have to get into this now?"

"Tell me!"

"A few weeks into my tour."

"See!"

"See? See what?"

"The woman you were dating..."

"Crissy."

"Yeah, whatever. She checked your messages before you had a chance and erased my messages! She knew that if you knew I was pregnant, you'd come back home to be with me! She probably erased my e-mails too!"

"Well, I did let her check my e-mails and messages for me..."

"See!"

Tommy looked like he was on the verge of a break down. He threw his arms around me and lifted me off the ground. "I'm so sorry. I would've been here if I'd known. I don't know what I was thinking being with her in the first place," he whispered in my ear. "I love you, Jude, with all of my heart. You're the only for me."

"Tommy, you don't know how long I've waited to hear that from you. I love you too." A tear fell from my eye.

He wiped it off my cheek. "No crying, Babygirl." He moved his face closer to mine until our lips were joined together like they had been over a year ago.

Sadie, holding Tommy, and Jamie came back in. Sadie handed Tommy to me and I handed him to his father. "Tommy Jr.," I said, "meet your father."

Tommy looked down at our son and then back at me.

AN: Sorry about any mistakes I make during the typing! Anyways, Review!


	3. Tiredness and FrontPage Stories

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any other reference I make.

Chapter 3: Tiredness and Front-page stories.

AN: Little Tommy is about four months old. And sorry to MC, who thought Jude was too forgiving, but things get tough for Tom down the road. Hell to pay.

I woke to the sound of Tommy crying. _Was it all a dream? _I crawled out of bed and walked over to his crib. "Hey baby boy," I cooed as I picked him up. "What's wrong?"

He just cried in response.

"Oh, baby, you know you have to let mommy get some sleep. I can't be tired tomorrow, or any other day for that matter. Photo shoots and recordings and interviews. It's all a little much." I sat down in the rocking chair that my mom gave me at my baby shower. I rocked back and forth slowly while I sang to him. "Rock a bye baby, on the tree top. When the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall and down will come baby, cradle and all."

He still cried.

"C'mon, Tommy, what do you want? Are you hungry? Let's get your bottle." I got out of the rocking chair and went down the stairs into the kitchen. I flicked on the light and started preparing the formula, one handed.

"Need help?" I heard someone ask from behind me.

I looked behind me to see Sadie at the bottom of the steps in her robe. "Woke you up too?" I asked her.

"Yeah... He can sure scream."

"Sorry about that, I'm trying to work on pulling myself out of bed the first time I hear him."

"Here, hand him over," she replied, holding out her arms.

I gave Tommy to her and then continued preparing his bottle. "I'm always so tired during the day." I put his bottle in the microwave to heat it. I took him back from Sadie and looked around for a pacifier.

"Here." Sadie handed me one from inside her robe pocket. "Someone slipped it in there."

It grabbed the pacifier and stuck it in his mouth. I rubbed my forehead out of frustration. "How do you have such a handle on this whole thing? I still don't have any idea what I'm doing and I've been doing this full time for four months."

"You have so much going on in your life. You have a kid to care for and you have your music career, which involves photo shoots, interviews, et cetera. I've had a little more time to read about this stuff."

"You've been reading up on this stuff?"

"Yeah well, what are sisters for?" As the timer for the microwave went off, Sadie sauntered over to the microwave, removed the bottle, and tested it on her arm before handing it over to me.

I took the pacifier out of his mouth and replaced it with the bottle. "Hey I never thanked you for letting me move into your townhouse with you, since Mom didn't want another baby in the house after so many years."

"No problem."

"I really mean it; it's just really difficult doing all this."

"I know. Besides, other parents are part of a team; you've been on your own for this whole time. Maybe things will get better now that Tommy has come back."

"Okay, he really did come back. When I woke up, I thought it was a dream, like he didn't really come back."

"But he did, and hopefully things will get better. When are you moving in with him, or is moving in here?"

"I don't know, we haven't really talked about it. And he'll be busy too, so it will still be difficult." I looked down at Tommy, who was now asleep in my arms. "Oh thank God, he's asleep."

"Let's get him up to bed before he wakes up again," Sadie replied with a smile on her face. We went up the stairs silently and separated into our bedrooms. I placed Tommy back into his crib and then crawled back into my own bed, falling asleep instantly.

My alarm blared at 7 in the morning. I was so tired that I slept through it but Little Tommy wouldn't hear of it. He started crying and that's what finally woke me up.

I checked my clock. 7:30. I was supposed to be at the studio in 15 minutes. I stumbled out of bed and rushed around getting dressed. I got Tommy dressed and poured some coffee into a commuter cup. By the time I got Tommy strapped into his car seat, I had five minutes.

I got to G Major ten minutes later. I stumbled in with my coffee in one hand and Tommy in my other. I saw EJ and Georgia running around crazily, like they usually do when I'm late. "Sorry, I'm late, guys. Tommy woke me up at three in the morning and then I slept through my alarm for half an hour before he woke me up."

Tommy came out of the studio and hugged me.

I hugged him as tight as I could with only one arm. "God, I'm so tired. Jr. woke me up at three in the morning." I glanced up at him. His face seemed really serious. "Are you okay?"

"Um, we have a problem," he said.

I looked up at him stunned. "What's wrong?"

He pulled a rolled up magazine out of his jacket pocket and tried to hand it to me. "This."

I set down my coffee on a nearby table and took the magazine from him. On the front page was: "A Happy Reunion" and there was a picture of Tommy and me yelling at each other.

"This is not good..." I muttered.

"You got that right. They got the whole story; where I've been, the fact that I had no idea I was a father, and our whole huge fight from yesterday. There are full color pictures also."

I flipped open to the page where the story was. It explained absolutely everything. There were at least half a dozen pictures; one of him coming into the studio, one of me yelling at him, Jamie coming out of the studio with Tommy Jr. in his arms, one of me saying something to Kwest, one of Tommy and me kissing, and then the final one of Tommy holding our son and me standing right next to him.

"So the press knows everything?"

"Well, just this tabloid does but it will soon be every where. We'll be flooded with interview requests."

Georgia and EJ walked over to us and said, "We have to figure out who sold you guys out to the press."

"What? Oh! There wasn't any press here yesterday so that means that someone must've sold this to the press. I'm such a spaz!"

"You're tired," Tommy stated, pulling me into a hug and letting my head rest on his shoulder.

"Comes with the territory of being a full-time mother and rock star." I adjusted Tommy in my arms. "I really need to get a baby carrier for him."

"Well, hand him off to someone 'cause we need to figure this out," Georgia commanded.

"Georgia, no one is here. I only trust him with Sadie, Kat, and Jamie and none of them are here. Sorry I'm just really stressed out."

"Okay, Jude just breathe, we'll get all of this figured out," EJ told me.

"Well, this can't be that hard to figure out. We haven't let anyone in here with a camera since the press found out about my pregnancy. So that means it had to be a camera phone. How many people could have one?" Nearly half the people in the lobby raised their phones in the air, signaling that it was a camera phone. "Okay, stupid question. Well, we know it wasn't Kwest, EJ, Georgia, Jamie, or Sadie." I paused for a moment. "Did Shay ever stop by yesterday like he said he was going to?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You still talk to Shay? I thought he was out of your life..." Tommy protested.

"When I got pregnant, Shay stopped by to help me out with stuff and even though I despise him, I wasn't in the position to turn down help. He said he was going to stop by yesterday to see how some of my new songs were going."

"I didn't see him at all," Georgia said.

"He probably showed up, shot the pictures, listened to our argument, and then bolted."

"It's possible," EJ agreed.

Tommy Jr. started crying again. "Oh not again. It's not enough that he keeps me awake for half the night. I'm going to take him outside." I stepped outside and slowly rocked him in my arms.

I saw Shay's SUV pull into the parking lot and he stepped out of the car. "Hi, Jude," he called in his badass tone.

"Hey yourself," I replied bitterly.

He walked up to me and looked down at Tommy. "How's Tommy Q Jr. doing?"

"Don't play dumb with me Shay."

"What?" He replied sharply.

"The tabloid..."

"Right, that's majorly harsh of whoever sold you guys out to the press..."

"Wait, so it wasn't you?"

"Of course not. You don't need that kind of publicity right now."

"I should've known. Sorry."

"No problem, you seem really tired. Did he wake you up at three in the morning again?"

"You know me too well."

"So, what's it like having Tommy back here?"

"It's a little weird. I never pictured Tommy and me in an actual family. I never thought it would be like this."

"I know what you mean." He stared down at me with those intense eyes.

I looked away from him. "Don't Shay."

"Don't what?"

"Don't stare at me like that, with those eyes. I know what you're thinking."

"What am I thinking?"

"About our kiss..."

"You're right."

"You have to understand that that kiss meant nothing. It was a week or so after Little Tommy was born and I finally realized that Tommy probably wasn't coming back. You were there and it just meant nothing. Please don't say anything to Tommy."

"I won't." Shay hugged me tightly.

"Well, I should get back inside." I turned around and walked back into the lobby. I went up to Tommy and said, "It's not Shay."

"Yeah, I know. It's one of the secretaries; she needed some extra cash, so this seemed like the easiest way to get it."

EJ bounded over to them. "Okay, what we're going to do is embrace this whole thing. Have the whole family go on different talk shows and do interviews for magazines. Sound good?"

"Yeah, that sounds good," Tommy replied.

EJ went back over to Georgia to talk to her.

"Wow... Okay, Tom..."

"Yeah?"

"What are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we have a kid. What's going to happen in the long run?"

"As in, between us?"

She nodded. "Yeah, between us."

"I guess..."

"If we move in together, I want to stay at Sadie's. I already have everything there and, I don't know, I already feel settled there."

"Okay, how about I move into Sadie's with you and then we'll take things from there?"

"That's a plan."

He smiled down at me. "Did I say hi yet?"

I smiled back at him. "I don't think you did..."

He leaned down and gave me a kiss. "Hi."

AN: Well, please R&R!


	4. Move ins, midnight, and movie deals

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star, any of the songs or anything else I reference to (such as Rolling Stone and WB).

Chapter 4: Move ins, midnight, and movie deals.

"This place is kind of small," Tommy stated, looking around the bedroom.

"When he gets older, I'll get my own place so he can have his own room, but for now, this is the best situation," I said.

"Whatever works." He set down his bag and laid down on the bed. He propped himself on his elbows and motioned for me to sit next to him.

I laughed at him while putting Tommy Jr. in his crib and lying down next to him. "So what happened to your furniture anyways?"

"I put it in storage, that way if we ever do get a place of our own, we can just use that to start out with."

"Makes sense..."

He flipped over onto his stomach. "I always make sense." He used his arms to hover himself over me.

I let out a giggle. "What are you doing?"

"This," he whispered. He lowered himself until our lips were connected. He slowly moved from my mouth to my neck. I could feel his hand on my waist and felt as it slowly moved up my side, under my shirt.

"Whoa, Tom. Slow down for a minute." I sat up, making Tommy move.

He sat up too. "Jude, it's not like we haven't done this before..."

"I know, it's just... Things are different now. We're not kids anymore..."

"I never was when I met you..."

"Okay. Correction, _I'm _not a kid anymore. I can't just goof off like I did when I was 19. I have responsibility now."

"I know you do."

"Then you understand that we can't do this right now."

Tommy glanced around the room as if he was looking for an answer. "I know."

"Then how about we get the rest of your stuff in..." I kissed him on his cheek. "Then we'll put Tommy down for bed..." I kissed his other cheek. "And then, we can have some fun." I kissed his mouth gently.

"Sounds like a plan..." He replied with a smile.

"Well, the faster we get the first two done, the faster we'll get to the third," I teased, getting off the bed.

"You know me too well..." He got up too and began tickling my sides.

I let out a laugh. "No fair!" I screeched.

Tommy Jr. let out a scream as he started crying.

"Ah, the joys of being a parent..." I mumbled.

"What do you think he needs?"

"Probably, just needs changed."

"Okay, well how about I get the rest of my stuff and you take care of him..."

I rolled my eyes. "Get out of here!" I pushed him out the room and shut the door.

At midnight on cue, Tommy Jr. started crying.

"I'll get him..." I muttered.

"No, I should," Tommy replied, exhausted.

"Hun, you don't know what you're supposed to be doing, I'll get him," I insisted, getting up. "Hey, Baby boy," I whispered as I took him out of his crib. "You need to stop waking up during the night. You need to let me get some sleep, Aunt Sadie too. She can't keep getting up to help me." I put a pacifier in his mouth and started rocking in the chair.

He continued crying, even with the pacifier in his mouth.

"Alright," I said, getting out of the chair and heading down into the kitchen. "You're hungry... You always get hungry during the night..." I started preparing the formula one handed like I had done so many times before. I could hear someone creeping down the stairs. "Hey, Sades, can you take him while I finish this?" When she didn't answer, I said, "Sades?" I turned around to see Tommy coming into the kitchen. "Oh, hey you."

"I'll take him," he said. He seemed a little more awake than he had been upstairs. He took our son out of my arms, enabling me to finish the formula.

I put the formula in the microwave and sat up on the counter. "I wasn't expecting you to come down."

"I thought I should at least learn how to do this," he replied. "How've you been doing this by yourself all this time?"

"Sadie usually comes down and helps me out. Maybe she can get a full night's sleep for once." The microwave beeped signaling that it was done. I jumped off the counter and took the bottle. I tested it on my arm and frowned. "I just realized that I have no idea how to do this."

Tommy let out a laugh "What?"

I laughed too. "Sadie always tests it for me and I just now realized it."

"You're such a spaz..." I heard someone say from the stairs.

Tommy and I both turned to see Sadie standing there. "Hey, Sades," I said.

"I can't believe I let you get away with not knowing how hot the damn formula is supposed to be," she joked.

I held the bottle towards her. "Can you just test it this one last time?"

She took the bottle and tested it on her arm. "Perfect." She handed the bottle back to me.

I reached out for Tommy Jr. but Tommy just took the bottle from me.

"I can do it, Jude. You can take a break."

I sat down in one of the chairs, Sadie sitting next to me.

"So he was a little early tonight, wasn't he?" She said.

"Yeah, he was, he usually waits until at least two," I agreed.

"What are you two talking about?"

"How early Tommy gets us up. He usually waits until two in the morning," Sadie explained.

"Wow, and you guys have been doing this for four months?"

"Almost five," I replied.

"How do you get sleep?"

"We manage," Sadie answered.

Tommy looked down at the little boy in his arms. "He fell asleep."

"Oh, good. Time to sleep." I got up out of the chair, took Tommy Jr. from his father, and we all headed upstairs.

The next morning, I slept through my alarm again. Lucky for me, Tommy didn't.

"Jude," he said softly, gently shaking me. "Wake up."

"What?" I grumbled with my eyes still closed.

"It's 7, the alarm went off already."

I sat up stiffly. "Oh, my God! I over slept again!"

"Whoa, chill it's just five after..."

"Wow, I may actually get to the studio on time for once. Tommy usually wakes me up half-an-hour after my alarm goes off."

"It's understandable, waking up in the middle of the night for almost five months straight."

"Well, let's actually try to be on time."

Tommy and I entered G Major at 7:45, right on time.

"Wow, Jude you're on time, for once," Georgia said, shocked.

"Yeah... Do you have any coffee? I didn't grab any before I left."

"Hold on..." Georgia poured a cup of coffee and handed it to me.

"Than- Ow, ow, ow!" I screamed as Little Tommy pulled on my hair.

Tommy grabbed our son and pulled him away from me. "Easy there, buddy," he said to Jr.

I rubbed my head out of pain. "Note to self: always wear hair in a ponytail."

"Okay, anyways, your schedule for today. You have an interview and photo shoot with Rolling Stone and then a meeting with WB. Then you two need to work on a new song. Something about your new family, et cetera," Georgia explained in a commanding voice.

"Into the spotlight we go," Tommy joked.

An hour or so later, we were posing for pictures and answering questions at the same time.

"Okay, Tommy, put one arm around her waist," the photographer told Tommy. "Jude, lean into him and hold the kid so we can see his face."

"He has a name," I snapped.

"Sorry," he replied. "And hold it." He took the picture and said, "Next pose."

"So Jude," the reporter started, "Did you ever think you'd see Tommy again?"

I tilted my head back to look at Tommy then looked back at the reporter. "To tell you the truth, I held on to hope for as long as possible. But a few weeks after Tommy Jr. was born, I realized that I'd probably never see him again."

"That's a kind of a harsh reality, how'd you deal with it?"

"I, um, reconnected with Shay. He just helped me feel better and he made me believe that I could do this on my own."

"Alright, now I want a pose of you sitting down," the photographer requested. "Tommy, you'll have your arms draped around Jude's shoulders. Jude, you will have one leg straight, the other bent and Tommy Jr. sitting on the straight leg."

We got into our positions as we continued to answer questions.

"So what made you decide on to name him after his father?"

"Um, well, I don't know. I think it was several factors. I think the hospital drugs had something to do with that. I also think that maybe, I missed Tommy too much and I wanted something to remember him by."

"Okay, hold that pose," the photographer demanded. He snapped the picture and we were free to move again.

"Now, Tommy, you were gone for about a year, what were you doing?"

"I had my six-month tour and then I stayed with this woman that I met on tour. She was actually a fan," Tommy explained.

"Wow. So the rumor is that you had no idea that you were a father, is this true?"

"Actually, it is. The woman I was with deleted any messages from Jude and so I had no idea."

"What was it like coming back here and finding out that Jude had a child?"

"At first I didn't believe it. I thought it was her best friend's child that he might've had with her. But when I got a good look at him, I just knew he was mine."

"Now, a question for the both of you… What's it like being a family after so long?"

Tommy answered first. "It's interesting. I, um, I don't even really know how to explain it."

"Well, I could never actually see Tom and me as a real family," I admitted. "But it's been better than I expected."

"Are there wedding bells in your near future?"

Tommy and I looked at each other and stammered.

"Um, well, we haven't really talked about it…." I stuttered. "But he did just move into my sister's house, where I've been staying. But we don't know if we're going to get married or not."

"Alright, one last photo," the photographer insisted. "A kiss. Just a kiss. And you can be holding your son in one arm."

"Okay," Tommy agreed. We both stood and I adjusted Tommy Jr. in my arm. "Ready?" He whispered.

"You know it," I breathed. He leaned down until our lips made contact.

"Perfect," the photographer chimed.

"Jude, Tommy…" Georgia said.

Our lips stayed in contact.

"Jude! Tommy!" Georgia barked.

We pulled apart and I muttered, "Sorry."

"Okay, well thank you Rolling Stone, they now have a meeting with WB," Georgia shooing us out into the lobby.

There was a woman waiting for us in the lobby.

"Tommy, Jude, meet Stephanie Cruner, she's a CEO for WB," Georgia explained.

"So what talk show do you want us to appear on?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't want you guys to be on a talk show," she replied. "I want to offer you guys a movie deal."

AN: Dun, dun, dun! Suspense! Only I know what will happen. Please R&R!


	5. Sing songs of sleep

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 5: Sing Songs of Sleep

"A movie deal?" Tommy managed to say.

"That's right," Stephanie replied.

"We're talking about T.V. movie, right?" I asked.

"No, full-length feature film that will be in theaters and on DVD. So what do you say?"

"Is this just our story or are we actually going to be starring in a movie?" Tommy added.

"Well, 'the guys upstairs' want the real experience of what you have gone through, and so what better way for that than to have the real Tommy and Jude?"

"Are you sure you want us? Not professional actors?" I insisted. Acting was not my thing…

"No, we definitely want you guys, even your son."

It was like Tommy was reading my mind. "Do you mind if we think about it for a while?"

"No problem, here's my card." She handed me her card before walking out of the lobby.

I grinned, overjoyed, and hugged Tommy. "A movie? This is so unbelievable."

"What's so unbelievable?" Jamie asked as he entered with Kat.

"We got offered a movie deal," Tommy explained.

"Oh my god! Are you going to take it?" Kat said.

"I don't know, we're going to think on it," I told them.

"What's to think about?" Kat inquired.

"Well, everything. We're going to be so busy anyways but starring in a movie? That's going to be hectic."

"No one said stardom would be easy," Jamie joked.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. We could not steer the ship without you," Tommy sneered.

"Alright, visiting time over," Georgia interrupted. "Time to get to work on that song."

"Okay," I agreed.

"Do you want us to take him?" Kat offered.

"Nah, need him for inspiration," I replied.

I set my head down.

"Jude, c'mon, we need to work on this."

I looked up at him. "We've been working on this for six hours including one hour lunch break, one hour dinner and I'd say about 20 ten minute breaks for Tommy. I'm just not getting into this."

He sighed. "Me too. I don't know about you but I think it might be a little too personal for us."

"I know what you mean. I think that since we both have had crappy luck with our own families that we just can't do this. I just don't feel like making this song."

"Me either. I can talk to Georgia and hopefully we'll be able to get out of the song. I'm guessing we will as long as we go along with every other ridiculous request."

"Fine with me. I just want to go home and sleep, like our son. He's so lucky that Sadie came by to get him."

"Why don't we call it quits?"

"Definitely." We left the studio and found Sadie at home, in the kitchen with Tommy Jr.

"Where have you two been?" She asked.

"At the studio, working," Tommy said.

"Are you serious? It's like 9 o'clock!"

"We were working on a song, but we're just not getting into it," I yawned.

"I wouldn't be either at 9 at night."

"Well, it's been a long day," Tommy explained.

"Hey, I'll take care of Little Tommy and you guys can get some sleep."

"Thanks, Sades," I called back to her as we dragged ourselves upstairs.

AN: I know that this was a really, really short chapter but I'm saving some of it for next chappie! Please R&R!


	6. Unsafe Secrets

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or anything else I refer to.

Chapter 6: Unsafe Secrets

Tommy Jr.'s cries rang through the night.

"I should get him," Tommy mumbled.

"We work better as a team," I replied. We both got out of bed and headed downstairs with our son in tow.

Sadie came down just a few minutes after. "This is becoming a tradition."

"Yeah, you got that right," Tommy agreed.

"The late night, adult chat session while in the process of taking care of Tommy Jr.," I added.

"So what happened at the studio today? You two were too busy and tired to actually tell me anything."

"We we're interviewed by Rolling Stone, and I found out why she named Tommy Jr. after me."

"Oh you had to get into that, didn't you?" _He's so dead…_

"Why did you name him after Tommy?"

"Yeah, tell her, Jude."

"I'm so going to kill you, Tommy." I looked over to Sadie. "I said that it was a mixture of things. Mostly the hospital drugs…" I pinched my boyfriend's cheek. "…and I missed this face too much."

"Do you have to pick on the poor guy?"

Tommy rubbed his cheek. "Yeah, do you?"

I laughed and looked back at Sadie. "So anyways, after that, we had a meeting with a CEO from WB."

She sighed. "What talk show are they asking 'the family' to appear on?"

"Not a talk show…"what

"Far from a talk show."

"Then what did they want?"

"They want to make a movie about us."

"Starring us."

"A TV movie?"

"Nope."

"Full-length motion picture."

"You're kidding? Starring you?"

"Not kidding. And yes."

"We're not sure if we're going to do this though."

"Why not? I mean you have EJ and Georgia planning every thing that goes on in your lives, and if you need I can watch Tommy Jr. You'll be able to do it."

"She's right, Jude. I don't see why we shouldn't do it."

"I don't know…"

"C'mon Jude!"

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

I looked down at Tommy sleeping in my arms. "I can't act, I don't want to make a fool of myself."

"That's all that's stopping you?"

"It's our story, you barely need to do any acting."

"Okay, I'll do it. We'll call Georgia in the morning to set-up a meeting."

"You seriously won't regret it. Think about it; movie premieres, glamorous parties, and endorsement deals."

"And what she's been doing for the past four years has been… what?"

"Let's not get into this now, the decision is made and let's get some sleep." We went back up the stairs once again.

"Thanks for agreeing to see us, Ms. Cruner," I said to her as I shook her hand.

"No problem at all," she replied.

"Well, we've decided to take you up on the offer," Tommy explained.

"That's wonderful!" She chimed.

"So what's going to be involved in all of this? Rehearsals, meetings with directors, etc.?" I asked.

"Just the basics?" He added.

"Yeah, there will be all that and more. Including a script run through."

"What for?" I had no idea what I was doing or what was even involved with making a movie.

"We want the whole story from your guys' perspective. It all starts when Jude wins Instant star and it goes all the way up to now. We want every little detail. So if there have been things left out of the story, secrets or anything like that, I should know about those soon."

Tommy and I glanced over at each other.

"We have a full schedule, and so it was nice talking to you, we'll see you soon," Tommy said.

Stephanie left the lobby and I turned to Tommy. "Are you sure we should do this?"

"Positive…" He didn't sound too sure about this.

"I'll be right back," I said quickly before rushing off to the bathroom. I dialed a number at the speed of light on my cell. "Sadie!"

"Whoa, Jude you sound frazzled. Tommy Jr. is okay, if that's what you're worried about."

"It's not that. We just had a meeting with Ms. Cruner, the CEO of WB, and I have a major problem."

"What's wrong?"

"She wants to know everything, every detail, every secret."

"Oh…"

"Yeah."

"So I take it Tom doesn't know about the kiss with Shay?"

"No idea what-so-ever."

"What are you going to do? Just keep Shay out of this?"

"I can't do that, he was a big part of this whole thing, he helped me out. That would be like leaving you out of all this."

"Right. Look on the bright side, he might have a secret too."

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel better."

"Well, I got to go, I hear your son crying."

"Bye." I walked back into the lobby and saw Tommy through the studio window talking to Kwest. I knocked before letting myself in. "Tom, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah," he replied, getting up and leaving the studio.

"Be there in a minute," I said to him. I sat down where Tommy had been sitting and stared at Kwest. "What we're you talking about?"

"Not much, just the usual."

"Yeah right."

"No that's all."

"Okay but you know I'll find out eventually."

"Bye Jude."

I left the room and hugged Tommy. "I have to tell you something."

"I do too," he replied.

"There's something that I haven't told you…"

"A secret?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

"You first."

"No you first."

I hesitated. It was getting hard to breathe. How was I supposed to tell him that I had kissed my ex-boyfriend? "I-I, um, Sh- Shay, um…"

"Shay? What about him?"

I couldn't say it. I couldn't tell him that I kissed Shay. So I kissed him. I just pushed him against a near-by wall and kissed him, as passionately as I could.

"Wow, girl, what's that for?"

I held back my tears as much as possible as I looked up at Tommy with watery eyes. "Guilt."

"What's wrong?"

Tears fell from my eyes silently. "It was about 8 months after you left, a few weeks after Tommy Jr. was born. A hard reality hit me that I was never going to see you again. I was on the verge of a breakdown." I started breathing hard.

Tommy lifted my head. "Jude, you don't have to tell me this."

"I have to… Shay came into G major and found me curled up in a corner in Studio C. He helped me realize that I could be a parent and that I could get through this. And we got taken away. He was there; I don't know what I was doing. I couldn't control anything that was around me."

"What happened?"

"We kissed."

He paused. "You kissed him?"

I nodded out of fear of his loud voice.

"Like how? A peck on the cheek or one like we just shared?"

"The second one."

"Great Jude! That is just great!"

"Hey it's not like you stayed out of relationships! It was just one stupid kiss! It meant nothing! Why are you getting so upset?"

"It was Shay! Your ex-boyfriend! And you're new friend! What's to say that you won't hook up?"

"The fact that I have a child with you! I love you, Tommy! And that's all that I care about! No meaningless kiss is going to change that!"

He glowered down at me and then said, "And it won't happen again?"

"No…"

"Alright…" He hugged me and kissed the top of my head.

I pushed myself away from him. "Wait a minute, you said you had a secret too."

"Oh that… It's not a big deal."

"Humor me."

"I don't know."

"Hey I told you my secret."

"Alright, but you're going to hate me."

"It will take a lot for me to hate you."

He paused and bit his bottom lip. He mumbled something that I couldn't understand.

"What?" I was prepared for the worst.

"When I was with Crissy, I got her pregnant."

But not prepared enough.

AN: Oh no! Seriously unsafe secrets. More drama on the way. Please R&R!


	7. Run like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star (but I'd like to own Tim Rozon).

Chapter 7: Run like the wind

I stood there, not believing what I just heard. "You what?"

"I got her pregnant…" He repeated.

"Oh my god, I can't believe I'm hearing this. How long did you know her before you got her pregnant?"

"A month."

"A month? Oh my god! So what? You have another family in wherever you were?"

"No! No! Fate had it in for me…"

"What are you talking about?

"She lost the baby! She never had it!"

"Look, Tommy, it's too bad that that happened but I can't believe you didn't tell me this!"

"Jude, I wanted to! But I got here and you had a kid!"

"You still should've told me!"

"Well you didn't tell me about Shay!"

"Puh-lease! That is so minimal compared this! You could've had another kid! Which would've probably given you a reason to stay as far away from me as possible! And I would've never seen you again."

"Jude, but it didn't happen like that! I'm here now and that's all that matters!"

"Then it shouldn't matter to you that I kissed Shay. It shouldn't have mattered at all because you were with her for a year while I only shared a stupid kiss with Shay. You don't deserve my forgiveness."

"Jude I'm so sorry. Can we please put this behind us?"

I glared at him. "No… At least not right away, I just need a little space, Tommy."

"Jude, please."

"No." I looked down at our son in my arms. My mind was playing tricks on me and I didn't know how to react. So I ran. I held Tommy Jr. close to me as I ran from the lobby. I saw Shay's SUV pull into the parking lot. My perfect escape.

Before Shay could get out, I climbed in. "Drive."

"Jude?" He asked.

"Just drive!" I shouted.

He hit the gas and I looked back to see Tommy coming out of G Major.

Shay gave me a wild stare. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

"We were given a movie deal and we had to give every detail which led to secrets. I told him about our kiss and he flipped. Then he tells me he got Crissy, the woman he stayed with, pregnant."

"Oh wow."

"So now I just need to get away from him."

He pulled the car over and turned it off.

"What are you doing? Tommy's going to catch us."

He turned to face me. "I can't take you away from here. This is something that you need to deal with. You and Tommy together."

"C'mon, Shay. I just need to get away."

"No, I'm taking you back home. You just need to think about this."

"I am thinking about this. I just want to get away!"

"Is running off really the answer? Will everything get better if you just disappear?"

"Shay, don't lecture me!"

"Think about your son! He's been without a father long enough! Do what's best for him!"

I looked down at Tommy Jr. and then back up at Shay. "Why do you care so much?"

"I was there when you fell before, I'm just here to catch you again."

I laughed. "You always were a cliché."

"Let's get you back to Little Tommy Q." He started the car and took me back to Sadie's. "I'll walk to the front door. I don't want you to make a run for it."

"You make it sound like I'm the one that got arrested."

"Hey I told you that that DUI was just a misunderstanding." He got out of the car before he could see me roll my eyes. He walked over to my side of the care and opened the door.

I got out and he led me up to the door with his hand resting lightly on my back. I rang the doorbell and the door swung open not a second later.

Tommy looked upset, happy, and angry all at once. "Jude! Where have you been?" His sight turned to Shay. "You, thanks so much for picking her up," he said sarcastically.

"Shut up, Quincy! Would you have wanted her to catch a ride with a stranger?"

"Look, Shay Shay!"

"Both of you shut up!" I screamed. I looked over to Tom. "If it wasn't for Shay, I wouldn't be here. He probably wouldn't have even driven off with me in the car if he knew what was going on. When he found out, he pulled over, convinced me to come back, and drove me back here. You should be grateful."

Tommy looked over to Shay. "Thanks."

"No problem. Well I'll leave you guys to talk, you have a lot to talk about." He gave an unsure smile.

"Thanks, Shay," I said as I gave him a hug. I closed the door as he walked away.

There was silence. I didn't know what to say, I'm pretty sure that Tommy didn't know what to say either. "So?" He said.

"So what?" I snapped.

"So you want to explain anything to me? Like why you tried to run off with our son?"

"Give me a break! You know why I did that!"

Sadie entered the room briefly. "I think I'll take Tommy while you two settle your differences." She took him out of my arms and left the room.

"Where were we?" Tommy asked me.

"I was yelling at you."

"Okay look I know why you tried to run off."

"You better! I mean, how was I supposed to react, Tommy?"

"I-I…"

"You got another girl pregnant! While we were still… I don't know, somewhat together!"

"Jude, I'm sorry!"

"And you got so mad at me for kissing Shay! I mean, when you came back from wherever the hell you were, and told me that you had been with another woman, I forgave you on the spot! I can't believe I even did that!"

"Jude, stop it!"

"No! You need to listen to me! I kissed Shay once! But you disappear for a year and get another girl pregnant and you actually expect me to be okay with that?"

"No, I don't expect you to be okay with that! I just expect you, the ever forgiving you, to please forgive me!"

"Tommy!" I cried. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

He wrapped his arms around me.

I tried to push him off. "I don't want to be touched right now."

He kept his tight grip on me. "I wont let go until you forgive me."

"Then we'll be here for a while…" I muttered.

He pulled away from me slightly, just enough to see my face. He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. "I need you to forgive me."

I looked up at him. "If she hadn't lost the baby, would you be here? Even if you found out that I had a kid and she had a kid, would you stay with her or come back to me?"

"Please don't do this…"

"Please tell me…"

"I don't know, I probably would've given up custody of that kid and come to you. I don't know."

I stayed silent. He would've come back to me. But he still should've told me. "You still should've told me."

"I know, and I will forever regret that. I'm just so sorry."

I looked up at him. "Fine… I'll still be a little upset though."

"That's understandable." He let go of me and leaned down for a kiss.

I held up a hand to stop him. "But tonight," I whispered in his ear, "You sleep on the couch."

AN: Ultimate punishment for guys when they screw up. Anyways, R&R!


	8. I'm just too young

Disclaimer: You should know by now that I don't own the show…

Chapter 8: I'm just too young.

"Like clockwork," I muttered to myself as Tommy Jr. started crying. I took him from his crib and headed down the stairs. I sang to him quietly as I went.

"I can't have anything I want  
They say I'm just too young  
But it's not my fault  
I'll find my own way home if I gotta  
I'll make it all alone."

I stopped in the kitchen, thinking about the words in the song. They had always made sense to me but they started making a lot more sense that past year.

"Are you serious?" Kwest asked. He had been the first to talk since I made the announcement.

"_As a heart attack…" I replied._

"_What are you going to do?" Georgia added._

"_I'm not sure, Tommy's not here, and it's his child… I have no idea."_

"_This will be great publicity," EJ said._

"_Thanks a lot, EJ."_

"_I can't believe this…" Victoria Harrison spoke for the first time._

"_Mom, it's not like it was planned…"_

"_You're not keeping it," she commanded._

"_What?"_

"_Have it if you want but we're going to put it in an orphanage."_

"_Isn't it my decision?"_

"_No, not this time. You're 19 years old, Jude! You're not ready for this!"_

_I stood out of anger. "I can handle this!"_

"_No, you can't!"_

"_I should know better than you!"_

"_Jude! You are just too young!"_

"_Just like my song says: I'm just to young but it's not my fault."_

"_You're not having this baby."_

"_Maybe in your perfect world." I stormed out of the studio as I sang to myself. "I can't have anything I want they say I'm just too young but it's not my fault."_

"Jude?" Tommy asked as entered from the family room (I really did make him sleep on the couch).

I turned to him quickly as tears invaded my eyes. "Tommy, what's wrong?"

"I heard you singing, did you even know you were?"

"I was off in my own world…" I whimpered.

"What's wrong?"

I began slipping down to the floor and he grabbed me, lowering me to the floor. "I'm just too young."

"What?"

"I can't do this! I'm too young to be a parent!"

"Whoa… Hey Baby girl… Where's this comin' from?"

"Just old memories, hurtful ones."

"Like what?"

"When I first found out about Tommy Jr., everyone seemed okay with it: Kwest thought I was joking, Georgia thought about the long run, EJ wanted to make it a publicity stunt, Kat and Jamie and Sadie were silent, and then there was my mom. She said, and I quote, 'You are just too young.' She wanted me to put him up for adoption. I don't know why it's bothering me so much right now. We reconciled, it doesn't matter anymore…" I wiped my tears off with my free hand.

He ran his hand through my hair. "Even after a reconciliation, things can still hurt. It just came to mind since everything seems bad right now."

"I guess."

He moved his face close to mine. "I'm here now. Just live in the moment."

I kissed him with tears still streaming down my face.

"Everything okay down here?" Sadie asked as she entered.

"Yeah, just working through some issues," I said.

"Good, now let's get Tommy to sleep."

AN: Short chapter, I know but I'm having major writer's block. Please R&R!


	9. Welcome Back

Disclaimer: I don't own IS!

Chapter 9: Welcome back.

AN: I really wish I could keep this for later chapters but I'm having horrible writer's block so I have no choice.

Tommy and I came into the lobby of G Major. "Hey, Georgia," I said.

"Oh, hey guys," she replied. "Since you guys couldn't write a new song, we're going to have you make a remix of 'It Could Be You'. Alright?"

"That's cool," Tommy replied, wrapping an arm around me.

"So, get to work."

After handing Tommy Jr. over to Sadie, we went into the studio and started recording.

_You and me, all alone  
It's to late to say we didn't know  
We shouldn't be, all alone  
One of us might lose control  
All these feelings we've been hiding  
Deep down, ya they must start to show  
Not here, not now  
Watching my frusterations grow _

Chorus  
I know what I feel and you feel it too  
I dream of the first kiss and who'll make the first move  
Who's gonna put their heart on the line  
It could be me  
It could be you, tonight 

"Awesome guys, keep working," Kwest said through the intercom.

"Thanks, Kwest," I laughed.

_Show me, who you are  
Stop me before I go to far  
Cuz it hurts, to hold back   
So hold me or I might crack  
I'm gasoline, you're the match   
I'm not sure if we could handle that  
It might explode, could be a mess  
I say we take the chance_

Chorus  
I know what I feel and you feel it too  
I dream of the first kiss and who'll make the first move  
Who's gonna put their heart on the line  
It could be me  
It could be you, tonight  


We stopped once again as I heard my son's cries. I looked up to see Sadie, leaving the control booth as quietly as possible.

I looked at Tommy in front of me. "Ready?"

He smiled down at me. "Always have been…"

_I'm all mixed up, confused  
I don't know what to do  
Cuz I want to, I'd love to  
If I knew you'd want me to  
If your getting any closer then I'm gonna have to scream_

Chorus  
I know what I feel and you feel it too  
I dream of the first kiss and who'll make the first move  
Who's gonna put their heart on the line  
It could be me  
It could be you

I know what I feel and you feel it too  
I dream of the first kiss and who make the first move  
Who's gonna put their heart on the line  
It could be me  
It could be you, tonight  


We came out of the studio with mile-wide grins on our faces.

"I never realized how much I liked that song…" I said.

"Really? I thought it would be obvious," Tommy joked. "We wrote that on our working vacation to your farm."

"Well that trip wasn't my finest hour…"

"Why is that?" He smile began to really bug me. He knew why, he just wanted to hear me say it.

"Maybe 'cause I wanted to rip out Sadie's voice box. Also the fact that you kissed her and I freaked out before that. Then Kat and Jamie were stranded for a few hours. It was a pretty rotten trip, I'd say."

"Maybe to you, but I had two pretty girls fighting over me. So it was all good!" He gave a goofy smile and just stuck out the tip of his tongue.

"You!" I scolded as I slapped his butt.

"Hey cut it out!" Georgia called.

I laughed. "Sorry, Georgia."

"Yeah, Sorry," Tommy added.

Georgia just rolled her eyes before retreating into her office.

"Okay, I'll be right back," Tommy said to me before running off to some other destination in G Major.

"Here he is," Sadie said, handing me Little Tommy.

"Thanks, Sades…"

"Hey, Jude!" Shay called as he entered the building. "J to the U to the D to the E!"

"Just like S to the H to the A to the Y!" I joked.

He wrapped me in his arms and spun me around before setting me back down. "So how are things?"

"They're okay…"

"And Tommy Q. Jr.?"

I looked down at him in my arms. "He's doing alright. His father and I just finished recording a remix of 'It Could Be You'. It rocked."

"Always does…" He glanced over to the door and then back at me. "Who's the blonde?"

I looked over my shoulder to see a woman enter G Major. "I don't know, maybe a new artist or something."

The woman walked up to me. "Are you the receptionist?"

The sound of her voice made me want to strangle her on the spot. "Um, no, I'm one of the artists on the label. But I might be able to help you anyways."

The woman rolled her eyes at me. "I'm looking for Tommy Quincy, so it'd be great if you could just point me in the right direction, then I could leave you and your boyfriend alone."

I gave a snobbish smirk. "For one: He's not my boyfriend. For two: You have no right to be acting snobby towards me. And for three: Tommy is around here somewhere, and he should be out in a minute. Now could you possibly tell me what you want with Tommy?"

"I don't think that really is any of your business."

"Oh but I think it is."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm hi-"

Tommy came from down the hall and stopped in his tracks. "Oh, wow…"

"Tommy, who is this?" I asked him.

"Tommy!" The woman squealed running into his arms and hugging him. "I just had to see you!"

"Why'd you come here, Crissy?"

AN: I was hoping to save that for later chapters but I got horrible writer's block. Anyways, R&R!


	10. Let Me Be

Disclaimer: Everyone should know by now that I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 10: Let me be

"_This_ is Crissy?" I hissed.

She took her claws out of Tommy and turned to face me. "My name is Christina West, but you can call me Ms. West."

"Uh, hi. For one, you're a fan of Tommy's while I'm an artist. Two, I don't have to respect you after what you did."

She stared at me and cocked her head to the side. "What's your name?"

"The name's Jude Harrison. You should know it really well by this point in time."

Her face formed a very strange expression; somewhere between shocked, scared, and angry. "Y-you're J-Jude?"

"Yeah. I'm Jude." I became furious within one second flat. "You should feel so miserable with yourself! You little bi-"

"Whoa, Jude!" Tommy yelled as came from behind me and wrapped me in a hug, getting me to shut up. "You need to chill."

"I don't want to chill!" I screamed through his arms.

I could've stayed there for as long as I wanted if Tommy Jr. hadn't started crying.

Tommy let go of me. "Jude, can you take care of him? I need to talk to Crissy."

"No, I want to hear this."

"Jude, please."

"C'mon, Jude," Shay added, pulling on my arm.

"No."

"Jude, go, now!"

"Tommy, this involves me too!"

"You need to take care of your son, now!" He gave me a little push to the door.

I turned to face him. "_Our _son."

Tommy looked like he was choking on his own words.

I felt Shay's hand on my shoulder. "Let's take care of Little Tommy." He grabbed my hand and pulled me outside, while I just stared at Tommy.

"I still can't believe that she showed up, after all this time!" I practically cried. "He called Tommy _my _son, like he had nothing to do with him." I looked through the window on the door and pushed open the door with my foot.

"I know…" Shay said.

"Shh!" I hushed him. "I want to hear this." I leaned in so I could hear.

"So you just thought that you'd come back to me? What's with you, Crissy? Did you expect me just to forgive you and come back?"

"Look, I'm sorry about him but… I just don't know. I want you back, Tom."

"Crissy, I can't go back, Jude has a kid."

"Yeah, I kind of figure. I mean what a slut, she was dating you and then when you're on tour hooks up with someone else."

"Her son, is also mine. And you know that! You deleted all the messages from her."

"Why does it matter? She was doing fine on her own. I want you to come back."

"I can't."

I noticed her hand lingering on his neck. "She can handle things on her own. She's so famous that she won't even know that you left. She doesn't need you."

I pushed my son into Shay's arms. I was ready for a showdown; I wanted to rip every single strand of shiny blonde hair out of her head.

"Jude, don't," Shay said as he tried to grab my wrist.

I pushed the door open and stormed into the lobby. "I swear to god that if it wasn't going to be all over tabloids, I would so kick the shit out of you."

"Like you could."

"Oh…" I moved toward her but Tommy held me back. "A little twig like you? Snap you in half."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Now you're going down." I tried to squirm out of his arms. "Tommy, let me go, I want to rip her hair out."

"Easy there, Girl," he called.

"Like I said when I wanted to kill Eden, it's rightful homicide."

"But the press would have a field day with it."

"That's true."

"Tommy, it's over between me and him," Crissy spoke.

"Who?" I asked, trying to calm down.

"The guy she was seeing while she was dating me," Tommy explained.

"Yeah," she agreed.

I cocked my head to one side and blinked a couple of times, trying to get that through my head. "So you took Tommy away from me and our son, just to cheat on him? Okay, now you're going to need a wig!"

"No, Jude!" He restrained me even more.

"Please, Tommy, just a handful of hair?"

"Jude, stop. Can we please be civil about this?"

"Maybe you guys can but I'm still plotting ways to kill her and make it look like an accident."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Let's get back to the point. What are you doing here?"

"I really need to tell you something."

"Oh what you're pregnant again?" I sneered.

"You're one to talk," she shot back.

"Guys, stop," Tommy commanded. "What's up, Crissy?"

"Um, when I got pregnant, before I lost the baby, I told my mom about it."

"So?"

"Well, she thinks we're married."

AN: Bwa ha ha ha! I'm so evil to everyone! Anyways, R&R!


	11. Marry Me

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or anything I refer to. But I do own the song that Tommy sings.

Chapter 11: Marry me

"Oh you've got to be kidding," I muttered.

"Why would she think that?" Tommy almost yelled.

"When I told her about the pregnancy, she just figured that we got married. She figured that we eloped, so we would be married before the kid was born."

"And you felt no need to correct her?" He snapped.

"Well, when I told her I lost the baby she asked if we were going to divorce, I said no. I was about to tell her that we never got married but she had to go. I haven't really talked to her since."

""Ever think of calling her? The door swings both days you know."

"I have but she's never there."

"So why does this matter right now?

"She's coming to visit."

"I thought you said you didn't have contact with her."

"She sent a letter and she's on the road right now so I can't reach her but she can reach me."

"But what does this have to do with me?"

"I need you to come back and pretend like we're married. Then I'll tell her after she leaves."

"And then what will you do while he's still there? I can't believe you," I spoke up.

"Why don't you just stay out of this?" Crissy asked. "It's none of your business."

"Oh, anything that has to do with Tommy has to do with me."

"Well not this, this is between me and Tommy." She turned back to talk to Tom.

"I don't think you heard me."

She glanced back to me.

"I said, anything that involves Tommy involves me. But I'm sure you just couldn't comprehend that."

"No I understood it just fine. But what you're not getting is that this has nothing to do with you."

"But-"

"Jude, stop, let me deal with this," Tommy interrupted.

"Tommy, this involves me too."

"Just, please, let me deal with this."

"Tommy…"

"I promise I won't disappoint you."

"Okay."

He looked back to Crissy.

"I don't know why you make promises to that little slut."

"Crissy, I swear that if you call Jude a slut one more time, I will bitch slap you all the way back to California."

"I, uh-"

"You need to shut up and listen."

She just stared at him.

"You messed up my life beyond belief. You kept me away from the woman I love. You knew about my son and you kept it a secret. You deceived me for too long. You don't deserve my forgiveness."

"Tom, I did all of that for good reasons. I knew that if you knew Jude was pregnant then you would leave me for her. Am I right?"

"Yes you are right. But Jude needed my help. She had to go through hell without me around. She had to leave her home and if she didn't have her sister around, then she wouldn't have made it this far. You did what you did out of selfishness and pettiness, so you can go to hell."

"What about my proposition?"

"You can tell your mom on your own that we're not married. You don't need me, Jude does. So just go back to California."

Crissy glared back at me. "You. This is your fault." And with that, she grabbed hold of my red hair and began to pull it.

I grabbed onto Crissy's shiny blonde hair and yanked as hard as I could.

Crissy let go first. "Damn, you can withstand a lot of pain, bitch."

I straightened out my hair. "I have a kid who's five months old. You do the math. Get the hell out of here." I nodded towards the door.

"One last chance, Tom," Crissy said.

He just smiled and muttered, "Get out."

She rolled her eyes and stormed out of G Major.

I gave a wide grin and jumped into Tommy's arms. "Oh my god, I can't believe it! She was so mad!"

Tommy gave a sincere smile back. "Yeah, it was so cool. But she ruined today for me."

"Don't let her ruin your day. She's so not worth it."

"I just kind of wanted today to be special."

"Why's that?"

"It's better to tell you through music." He grabbed my wrist and dragged me into Studio A. He sat down and picked up the guitar. "Now you can't laugh, okay?"

"Okay."

He began to play.

_Jude, you're all I need_

_Jude, with you I succeed_

_Jude, you need to know how I feel_

_Need to know I'm real_

_Jude, you're as cute as can be_

_Jude, you're all I see_

_You complete me_

_Jude, will you marry me?_

He set down the guitar and handed her a small black velvet box.

She opened it to reveal a wedding ring. It was simple; a silver band with a diamond in the middle.

AN: I know cheesy but cute. Anyways, R&R!


	12. What else would I say?

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 12: What else would I say?

"Jude?" Tommy asked me.

I had zoned out. "What?"

"Yes or no?"

Marriage. We had done every other step, why not? "Yes."

He gave a huge grin, picked me up off the ground, and kissed me. After setting me down, he grabbed my hand. "C'mon." He pulled me out into the lobby. "G Major staff, may I have your attention please?"

The hustle and bustle of the G Major lobby came to a halt.

"Jude and I have an announcement! We're getting married!"

There was an uproar of cheers and everyone in the lobby soon crowded around us. We heard calls of "congratulations" and "when's the wedding?".

It all felt so weird. I already had enough to deal with; the movies deal, talk shows, magazine interviews, taking care of Tommy Jr., and now a wedding to plan? Crazy, crazy life.

AN: I know that this was the shortest chapter in the history of short chapters but I've now come down with major writer's block, worse than ever. I have an idea for next chapter though and I will have that up soon as possible. Please R&R!


	13. Surprise!

Disclaimer: I don't own the show… but like I've said so many times before, I wouldn't mind owning Tim Rozon.

Chapter 13: Surprise!

I sat on the bathroom counter with the pregnancy test in my hand. I had done this once before. Pink meant yes. I was pregnant again. I had just started to get my figure back from the birth of Tommy Jr.

It must have happened a week or so ago, after the engagement. We came home to celebrate and I guess what's done is done.

I started sobbing into my hands. I didn't want to be pregnant again, not after such a short time. Tommy Jr. still needed a lot of attention for himself but another baby around? That'd just be nuts.

"Yo, Jude!" Tommy yelled, slamming on the door. "We're supposed to be at the studio in five minutes!"

"Tommy, can you come in here a minute?" I called back to him.

He entered the bathroom. "What's wrong?" He looked at the test in my hand. "A pregnancy test?"

"Yeah…"

"Is it positive?"

I nodded.

"It's not like we don't already have a kid. This is just another step along our relationship."

"It was so hard last time…"

"But I'll be here this time, I can help you through it."

I stood up and tossed the test into the trash. "You don't get it."

"Get what? We're just having another kid."

"I don't want to be pregnant!"

"What?"

"I don't want to go through it again so soon. Tommy is still so young and he needs a lot of attention."

"But we can so this."

"Easy for you to say. You don't have it as hard as I do."

"But this time you'll be waited on, hand and foot. I promise you, it will be better this time."

"But I don't want to be pregnant! I just don't want to have this kid right now."

"Wait, you're not thinking of-"

"An abortion? I don't know, maybe. I just can't think straight right now!"

"Jude, c'mon, an abortion? That's so stupid!"

"It's not your decision now is it?"

"Think about this! Do you really want to kill an unborn child?"

"I'm not ready for this again, Tommy! Don't you get that?"

"Don't you get that I want you to have this baby?"

"Okay, when you're the one that has to carry it in your body for nine months, then we'll talk. But wait? That's not going to happen. So it's my choice." I tried to walk past him.

He grabbed hold of my shoulders and stared me down. "This conversation is not over. Imagine how you would feel if your parents hadn't wanted you to be born. Wouldn't you just feel so damn awful?"

"I guess…"

"I mean you didn't want to give up Tommy when your mom wanted you to, right?"

"I can't believe you brought that up, I really don't want to think about it."

"Sorry, just please, don't get rid of our unborn child."

I glanced down to the floor before looking back up to him. "Fine, I'll keep it."

"Thank you, you wont regret it."

_Want to bet? _I thought.

AN: Again, I love to torture everyone. Please R&R! Also, if anybody out there has any ideas they're willing to spare for my fic, PLEASE tell me!


	14. S to the H to the A to the Y!

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star and you people should know that by now.

Chapter 14: S to the H to the A to the Y!

Georgia knocked on the door to the control booth and opened it up. "Jude, Shay's here to see you," she said before leaving again.

I looked over to Tommy. "Do you mind if I take a break and talk with him?"

"Yeah, sure, go ahead," he replied.

"Thanks." I stood up, giving him a kiss and walked into the lobby. "Shay!" I called, running into a hug.

"Hey, Jude," he replied. "C'mon, let's go talk outside." He led me outside of G Major and we leaned against one of the walls. "So what's new?"

I showed him my left hand, presenting my ring. "Tommy proposed and I said yes."

"I read about that, congrats, girl. But you seem a little… distracted, for the lack of a better word."

"Just big things happening."

"It's been about 4 years, Jude, I think you would be adjusted to fame by now."

"It's not fame… It's something way bigger than that."

"Bigger than fame?"

"Fame looks like an ant compared to this."

"What is it?"

"Tommy Jr. is going to have a little brother or sister."

"No…"

"Yes."

"You're pregnant? Again?"

"Yep."

"Is that good or bad?"

"I don't know. I'm not so happy about it but Tommy keeps telling me that it will be better this time since he's around. He just doesn't understand, Tommy Jr. was just born and I'm already busy enough with him and my career. I don't know how I'm going to handle another baby around."

"Ever think of not having the kid?"

"An abortion? Yeah, I thought of that but Tommy doesn't even want the thought to cross my mind let alone for me to actually have one."

"He can't control what you do, Jude. Don't get me wrong, abortion is not very good but it's probably just as bad as having a child that you don't want. It's up to you, don't let him control you."

"Thanks, Shay."

"Well, I got to bounce. See you around." He walked off into the parking lot.

I stood there for a minute, forgetting everything in my life but what Shay just told me.

The next day I had come home from the grocery store. "Tommy! I'm home!"

He came down the stairs calmly with a stiff look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked turning towards him.

"A doctor's office called today."

"Oh…"

"They said that your appointment is a week from Tuesday."

"Thanks…"

He gave a short laugh. "And the funny thing is that when I asked what the appointment was for all they would tell me is that you're having surgery. Want to tell me what the surgery is for?"

"It's nothing, Tommy, I promise."

"Jude, we are going to be married, that means we have to be able to trust each other. I want you to tell me what is going on, right now."

"Tommy, I decided to do this and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"What are you deciding to do?"

I started climbing up the stairs, not wanting to talk to him.

He followed me. "I'm not done talking to you, Jude!"

"Well you will be!" I entered our room. It was really empty; Sadie had taken Tommy Jr. with her.

"What are you going to do?" Tommy insisted.

I turned to face him. "I'm getting an abortion."

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am. I'm so not ready to have another kid, and I'm not going to wait another nine months before I'd have to give it up."

"Then don't!"

"I'm not ready for another kid, Tommy! Deal with that!" I stormed out of my room, Tommy coming after me.

He caught me at the top of the stairs and grabbed my hand. "Jude, c'mon, think about this!"

"I have! Shay told me that if this is what I want then I should do it! So I'm doing this!"

"Shay?"

I pulled my hand away from Tommy, causing me to lose my balance at the top of the stairs and fall.

"Jude!" Tommy shouted.

AN: I'm evil… Alright, I just want to let everybody know that I don't support abortion. Just because I write something in my stories, that doesn't mean that I actually support it. Anyways, R&R!


	15. Losing things you never had

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star, but I want to own Tim Rozon.

Chapter 15: Losing things you never had.

I sat in the hospital room quietly with my knees tucked up to my chest. My hand itched so damn much from the IV; the nurses scolded me after scratching so I could barely touch my hand without being yelled at.

I had been dreading his visit all the previous night. What was I going to do? Tell him that I wish I hadn't lost the baby? After I was going to get an abortion? I couldn't do that.

Visiting hours for the patients. I was so nervous, waiting for him. He had been here only once, but I guess he was so mad that he didn't want to stay. I can't say I blamed him. I had gone behind his back and tricked him. How could I be so stupid?

Did I have to be selfish and want to get rid of the baby? I don't even know what I was thinking. I guess that I wasn't.

I had betrayed Tommy's trust. I would be surprised if he still wanted to marry me. How could you marry someone you didn't trust? You couldn't.

After half an hour, I had been visited by my mom, my dad, Sadie, Jamie, Kat, Kwest, EJ, and Georgia. But I hadn't seen Tommy anywhere. I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see me, ever. He had disappeared once before, what was to say that he wouldn't do it again? I guessed that he wished that he went with Crissy, at least then he could be with someone who was a little more stable.

About five minutes before the visiting hour was up, he came. He entered the room quietly as though he was a 16-year-old sneaking in after a party. He sat down next me on the bed and looked over to me.

I was fiddling with the wedding ring in my hand. He probably wanted it back, so I gave it to him. I held it out to him and said, "I guess this belongs to you."

He took it from my fragile hand and looked it over. He shook his head. "I don't understand."

I looked at him, confused. "I betrayed you, I was going to get an abortion behind your back. I don't deserve you."

"So you don't want to get married?"

"I do. I thought you wouldn't to."

"You made a mistake, everyone does."

"Nobody is as stupid as I was!" I buried my face in the pillow on my bed.

He laid down next to me and ran his fingers through his hair. "So it was a bad decision but you didn't go through with it. You have to give yourself more credit."

"I didn't want to go through with it, I came to my senses after I lost it. Now I wish I hadn't."

"All that matters is you came to your senses."

I looked at him with sad eyes. I didn't know what to think. He was so forgiving. It was only then that I realized how much I had missed him that year he was gone.

He hugged me. "Maybe we weren't supposed to have this kid. And this just happened as a way for us not to have the child but for us not to go through with something like an abortion."

"I guess you're right."

He glanced around at the room. "A lot of flowers and balloons."

"Yeah, once the news hit the stands all my fans sent me 'get well soon' stuff. About half of this stuff is from Jamie, Kat, and Sadie though. They all go overboard."

"Well, tomorrow you're going to get three bouquets; one of balloons, one of flowers, and one of chocolate roses."

"I guess I should feel special then."

"You really should," he whispered as his lips came in contact with mine.

I rested my head in the crook of his neck. He felt so warm that the rest of my body started to shiver from the lack of heat. It seemed so right just lying there in his arms.

He pulled a blanket over me to keep me warm and he continued to run his fingers through my hair. "I love you, Jude, I always will."

I buried my face farther into the crook of his neck. "I love you too, Tommy." My hot tears started to fall against his skin.

He squirmed uncomfortably and pulled away from me. "What's wrong?"

I was such a mess. Why had he wanted to marry me? Why had he loved me? I was so confused. So I asked him. "Why do you want me?"

"What?"

"Why do you love me? Why do you want to marry me?"

"Whoa, Jude, calm down. What are you talking about?"

"Wouldn't you be happier with a girl who was a little more stable? I mean you could have any girl that you wanted. Why me?"

He smiled. "Because you are the perfect girl for me. You understand me. And that's what I really love about you."

I wrapped my arms around him and placed my head in the crook of his neck.

"This belongs to you," he said.

I looked up to face him and saw the ring in his hand.

"Here," he added, grabbing my left hand and sliding the ring on my finger.

I pushed my lips against his with all the effort I could.

AN: So cute. I would never actually have her go through with abortion since it's so wrong. Please R&R!


	16. Family Portrait

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the song Family Portrait by Pink.

Chapter 16: Family Portrait

The doctors said that I could go home. They said that I would be fine. Of course, they were talking about my physical health.

That night's sleep was the worse that I ever got. I kept tossing and turning. I wouldn't be surprised if I kept Tommy awake too.

My dream wasn't the greatest. It made me question my decisions.

_In the background, the song Family Portrait was playing._

Momma please stop crying, I can't stand the sound  
Your pain is painful and its tearing' me down  
I hear glasses breaking as I sit up in my bed  
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you  
said

_I must've been years later since Tommy Jr. was a teenage. He was sitting in his room, listening to yelling from the kitchen below him._

You fight about money, bout me and my brother  
And this I come home to, this is my shelter  
It ain't easy growing up in World War III   
Never knowing what love could be, you'll see  
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done  
my family

_Tommy was yelling at me about something. I was just yelling back at him._

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything  
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave

_I was pointing to the door, wanting him to get out, and leave me alone forever._

Daddy please stop yelling, I can't stand the sound

Make mama stop crying, cause I need you around  
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says  
its true  
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love  
you, too

_Tommy Jr. the teenager came down the stairs and ran between me and his father. He was begging for us to stop fighting._

I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away  
Don't want to go back to that place, but don't have  
no choice, no way  
It ain't easy growing up in World War III  
Never knowing what love could be, well I've seen  
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my  
family

_This time I saw Tommy Jr. coming from what I was guessing was our house. He was carrying a back pack and it seemed like he had no intention of returning._

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything  
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave

In our family portrait, we look pretty happy  
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes  
naturally  
I don't want to have to split the holidays  
I don't want two addresses  
I don't want a step-brother anyways  
And I don't want my mom to have to change her  
last name

_I was sitting on the couch, staring at a photo of our small family. I was crying, just thinking of Tommy Jr. after he had run away._

In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy   
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally

In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
(I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do  
anything)  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
Let's play pretend act and like it comes so  
naturally   
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave)  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave)

_My life had fallen apart in front of me. My son was gone, my husband had run off with someone else, and I was alone. The life I once loved was gone._

Mom will be nicer  
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother  
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner  
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right  
I'll be your little girl forever  
I'll go to sleep at night

I sat up from the dream, screaming. I curled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. Was that really going to happen? I didn't want it to.

I started crying at the thought. I felt him shift in his sleep besides me.

"Jude?" He asked, sitting up and wrapping his arms around me. "What's wrong?"

"What are we doing, Tommy?" I replied.

"Jude…"

"I mean it, what are we doing together? We fight. It has just been one disaster after another since you got back. So what's going to happen? We're going to get married for the sake of Tommy Jr. and then be miserable? That would make it worse for him."

"Jude, I'm not marrying you because I have to. I'm marrying you because I want to."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, what are you thinking?"

"I just had this weird dream. The song Family Portrait was playing in the background. And our actions and Tommy Jr.'s actions were following the words of the song. Like he was a teenager and listening to us fight. And I wanted you to leave and he broke up the fight. Then he ran away and I had ended up alone cause you left me. I just don't want to end up like that."

"We won't, we will always be together, I promise."

"How can you promise that? How do you know that we'll always be together?"

"Jude, chill. We just need to let nature run its course."

"I guess."

"Please, let's just go back to sleep."

"Alright."

"Night."

AN: Poor Jude… Anyways, R&R!


	17. Here Today, Tour Tomorrow

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 17: Here Today, Tour Tomorrow.

"Tommy, take it outside," Georgia demanded after his phone rang.

"Sorry, G," he replied, exiting G Major.

"Jude, back to work," Georgia said to her.

"Okay…" I went back to playing with my guitar and figuring out chords for my new song that I was working on.

I couldn't help but look up at Tommy through the window. He kept pacing, he only did that when he was nervous. Just watching him pace made _me _nervous. What was going on? Did I even want to know?

He looked up to me and the back at the ground. Just that quick look broke my heart. I had the feeling that whatever was being said to him on the phone wasn't good news. After all we had been through; I didn't want to have anything push us back. But one phone call had changed that, in my mind at least.

He hung up his phone and came back into G Major. He looked down to me with worried eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Who was on the phone?" I managed to squeak out.

"No one important."

"You sure?" I asked, tears falling down my face.

"Hey…" He cooed, sitting next to me and taking the guitar form me and setting it down. "Why are you crying?"

"You just seemed a little unhappy on the phone. You were pacing."

"It's nothing to worry about, Jude, I swear."

"Are you positive?"

"Jude…" He brushed the back of his hand on my cheek.

"You'd tell me, right? If something was wrong?"

"Of course, Jude. We need to be able to trust each other. That won't ever happen if I don't tell you if something's wrong, which nothing is."

"Okay…" I whimpered, wiping my tears away.

"Trust me…" He whispered before connecting his lips with mine.

Even though he had told me that nothing was wrong, I had an eerie feeling that he was lying and that our lives were going to change again. And I was right.

I woke up that night when Tommy Jr. cried. "C'mon, baby boy," I whispered, pulling him from his crib. "Let's take care of you."

Tommy Sr. followed me down the stairs into the kitchen. I handed our son over to him and began preparing the formula.

"Jude…" Tommy said, "I need to tell you something."

I put the formula in the microwave and turned to him warily. "Okay, shoot."

"It's about that phone call earlier today."

"I was afraid of that. I thought you said it was nothing."

"I just didn't want to worry you, and you were crying, I was just trying to calm you down."

"Right…" I muttered spitefully.

"That was another record executive on the phone."

"So?"

"They want me to do another sixth month tour."

"Now?" The microwave beeped, signaling that the formula was done but I ignored it.

"Well, they say since the whole thing with my return here that I'm very popular and they want me to do a tour."

"I've become just as popular as you, why not me?"

"They figured that you needed to stay with the baby."

"And they thought you didn't?" I was becoming hysterical at this point as I began to cry. "You were already gone for the majority of his life, and they want you to leave now?"

"Yeah, they do."

"And do you want to leave?"

"I want to stay with you but I want to go on tour."

"But I can't go with you."

"Why not?"

"I need to work on _my _career, Tommy. I need to stay here for our son. The past year had been about you. I was okay with you leaving on a tour. Now I need to focus on me a little. I can't go with you."

"But I don't want to leave you here."

"Well, I guess that's the option: stay here with me or go on tour. But I can tell that you won't be happy either way."

"I guess… then I'm going on tour."

I looked up at him. He had chosen to leave again?

"What's going on here?" Sadie asked, coming down the stairs.

I shot an upset look at him before racing up the stairs. I ran into Sadie's room and collapsed onto her bed.

"Hey, what's going on?" She asked, sitting next to me.

"He's going on tour, again, for six months."

"Why?"

"Some record execs want him to go on tour because he's popular right now. He wants to stay with me but he loves to tour. He can't have both since I need to work on my career. So he's choosing to go."

"I'm sorry, Jude."

"Why does he have to go?"

"Look, Hon, either way, he's going so you might as well support him."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay, fine." I got up from the bed and went back to my room, where Tommy was waiting. "Tommy…"

"Jude, I'm not going to go on tour if you don't want me to."

I thought about it for a minute. I didn't want him to leave but I wanted him to be happy. "Go on tour, Tom."

AN: Does she really want that? Only I know! Sorry that it took so long ot update but my keyboard was screwed up. Please R&R!


	18. Speak to me

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the Avril Lavigne song, "I'm with you."

Chapter 18: Speak to me

His arms were wrapped around me tightly, our son somewhere in the middle. I didn't want to say goodbye to him again after such a short time together. I didn't want him to leave.

He pulled away from me. "I'll be back in six months, I promise this time."

I was holding back tears. "I know. I-I'm just-"

"Please, Jude, let's not make this harder…"

"I'm just going to miss you."

"I know."

"Are you sure you want to go?"

He looked sorrowful. "Jude, I want to go, but I wish you could come."

"You know I can't, Tom."

There was an announcement that rang through the air. "Flight 946 is now boarding."

"That's me," Tommy said.

"Okay…"

"I'll see you in six months."

"If you say so…" I stared down at the floor.

"Hey," He put a knuckle under my chin, lifting in so I could meet his eye level, "I will."

"Okay."

He kissed me and then the top of Tommy Jr.'s head. "I'll see you soon."

"Bye," I replied, watching him walk away.

After four months, I was mentally begging for him to come home. I had adjusted to him being there; I didn't need Sadie so much, she could get more sleep. I didn't have to hold Tommy Jr. all the time. I was happy. But then he had to leave again.

I would talk to him everyday, not letting him know how much his disappearance had affected me. He just seemed so happy, I didn't want to bring him down. I knew that I had to let him be, let him have fun.

I watched Sadie through the window of the studio as she held my son close to her.

I hit my first chord of the song and began to sing.

_I'm Standing on a bridge  
I'm waitin in the dark  
I thought that you'd be here by now  
Theres nothing but the rain  
No footsteps on the ground  
I'm listening but theres no sound _

_Isn't anyone tryin to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home  
It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Wont you take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I dont know who you are  
but I... I'm with you _

_im looking for a place  
searching for a face  
is anybody here i know  
cause nothings going right  
and everythigns a mess  
and no one likes to be alone _

_Isn't anyone tryin to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home  
It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Wont you take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I dont know who you are  
but I... I'm with you_

_oh why is everything so confusing  
maybe I'm just out of my mind  
yea yea yea _

_It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Wont you take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I dont know who you are  
but I... I'm with you _

_Take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I dont know who you are   
but I... I'm with you  
I'm with you_

_Take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I dont know who you are   
but I... I'm with you  
I'm with you  
I'm with you..._

I left the studio for the lobby in tears. I missed him too much.

"You miss him," Sadie said, handing my son over to me.

"Like hell I do," I replied, wiping away my tears.

"You'll get used to it," Sadie added.

I nodded glumly.

Tommy Jr. squirmed in my arms. "Dada," he cooed.

"Yeah," I muttered. "Dada."

AN: Oh, his first word. What are the chances? Please R&R!


	19. Who?

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the song "Quicksand" by Lillix

Chapter 19: Who?

Another month down, only one more to go. Each day became harder and harder for me. I could feel myself readapting to being a single parent. I shouldn't have been. Or maybe I should have.

"Hey, Jude, need help?" Sadie asked as she came into the lobby of G Major.

I looked up from the song I was writing before looking over to my son who I was bouncing on my knee. "No, I'm good actually but thanks for the offer."

She sat down next to me. "You know that you can accept my help."

"I know that." I looked back at my music.

"Then don't try to adapt to single-parenthood again."

"I'm not."

"You seem to be."

"I just don't want to be a burden on you."

"You're not; you're my sister and I'm willing to help." She hugged me, making Tommy Jr. squeak from somewhere between us.

"If only we got along so well when we were younger, maybe then Mom and Dad wouldn't have split."

"We didn't do that; Dad did that."

"Right." My eyes stayed glued to my paper.

"He's coming back, you know that right?"

"I guess."

"Hun, things are different this time. He knows that you have a son; he's coming back."

"I hope so."

"I know so. Otherwise I'll kick his ass."

I let out a laugh. Sadie knew how to make me smile. "I think I'm going to call him."

"Okay, do whatever. I'll take your son."

"Thanks." I handed Little Tommy to my sister and stood up. I dialed Tommy's cell number and waited for him to answer. "C'mon, please pick up, please pick up." I began pacing through the lobby, catching a glimpse of Sadie in the control room.

"Hello?" Tommy said, answering his phone.

"Hi," I replied with a tone that was mixed with sadness and worry.

"What's up?"

"I just wanted to talk to you."

"Oh…"

"I miss you, Tommy." I could feel my eyes starting to water and my voice starting to crack.

"I miss you too, Jude…"

"You're coming back, right?"

"Ju-"

"No, I'm serious. I want to know that you're coming back this time. I want a promise."

"Jude-"

"Promise me!"

"Jude, I promise."

That's when I heard it. The worst sound in the world. A woman's voice. "Hey, baby, what do you want on your pizza?" She asked.

Tommy stayed silent.

"Who was that?" I asked stiffly.

"I-"

"WHO WAS THAT?"

"Jude…"

"WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?" I screamed into the phone making everyone look at me.

"Let me explain!"

"FUCK YOU!" I hit the off button on my phone before tossing it to the floor. I let out a scream, letting myself hit the floor.

I felt Sadie's hand on my back. "Honey, c'mon, let's get you outside." She helped me up form the floor and lead me outside. She leaned me against a wall, let the cool brick make contact with my skin.

"What happened?" She asked me.

I spoke between sobs. "There was a woman there."

"Oh, Hun, there could be other explanations."

"Well, I hate him, I don't care."

The door to G Major opened and Georgia stepped out with a phone in her hand. "Jude, Tommy's on the phone."

"Tell him he can go fuck himself!" I shouted.

She slunk back into the building.

"You have to chill, Jude. Yell at Tommy, not at Georgia."

"Right." At that moment, anger surged through my body more powerfully than ever. I burst into the building and stormed straight for the studio.

"Jude?" Kwest asked.

"Just record, okay?" I snapped at him.

_Yesterday   
Seemed so much longer then today  
There must be something wrong with me  
I think im losing in oh no  
I must be stupid  
Now im here  
Yes im here  
Cuz I tried  
If your here  
Then youre here  
For a while_

I can't reach the sky  
Without being dragged down  
I can't run forever  
While I try to hold on  
But if youll be there where I drown  
I dont want to hold your hand  
Its quicker then quicksand  
And you just wont make it

None the less I think I've seen a brighter side  
Ive trusted no one deep inside  
Is what they call the rest of them  
They just dont get it  
But were there  
Yes were there  
For a try  
And were there  
Yes were there  
For a while

I can't reach the sky  
Without being dragged down  
I can't run forever  
While I try to hold on  
But if youll be there where I drown  
I dont want to hold your hand  
Its quicker then quicksand  
And you just wont make it

Ive seen so many try to get there way  
Im sure its really not that bad  
Yeah im sure really not that bad

I can't reach the sky  
Without being dragged down  
I can't run forever  
While I try to hold on  
But if youll be there where I drown  
I dont want to hold your hand  
Its quicker then quicksand  
And you just wont make it

Its quicker then quicksand  
And you just wont make it

_Its quicker then quicksand  
And you just wont make it_

I looked out to everyone. They looked at me with stone faces. "What?" I asked.

AN: Stupid Tommy… How could he do that again? Please R&R!


	20. Engagement Estrangement

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 20: Engagement estrangement

After the last month of touring, Tommy returned home. I was prepared for his return and I had the rest of his stuff packed.

"Hello?" He called as he came into Sadie's house.

I looked down from the top of staircase and rolled my eyes.

"Jude!" He yelled coming towards me.

I turned back into my bedroom, not wanting to talk to him.

He came up the stairs and into the room. "I heard your new single. I thought you couldn't produce a song without me."

"I did it for over a year before, I could handle it for six months."

"But this new song… wow. I'm not sure what to say. It's kind of…"

"True?" I offered.

"Insulting?" He replied.

"No it's true. You _are_ quicksand, Tommy and if I'm with you, you're not just taking me down, you're taking Tommy Jr. down too."

"Jude… listen to me…"

"No, Tom, I'm done with you. You cheated on me twice, once while we were engaged. I'm just done."

"I know I've been stupid in the past, but at the end of the day, all I want is to be with you!"

"The past? It was just last month, Tom! And how do I know that you haven't cheated since then?"

"You have to trust me!"

"Trust you?" I screamed. "You want me to trust you? How can I trust you? I don't think I can anymore!"

"Please, Jude!"

"No!" With that scream, Little Tommy started crying. I picked him up from his crib and bounced him in my arms. "Look, our son is 11 months old and you've been here for only about one of those 11. You're stuff is packed, you should go."

"Jude, don't make me leave."

"I'm not, Tommy, you made yourself leave."

"I get it, I screwed up! But don't make me leave our son again."

"Now you want to stay? After you left twice of your own free-will, now you want to stay?"

"Yes, Jude!"

"Get out!"

"Now?"

"Get the hell out of my house now!"

"Don't do this!"

"What should I do? Let this go, and then what? You'll cheat again? I don't think so. I'm not going through it and I'm not putting our son through it. You're gone."

"Please listen!"

"I've done my listening, now time for your leaving." I set our son back into his crib and brushed past Tommy. He followed me down the stairs and I held the door open for him. "Don't make this harder than it has to be, Tom. Just go."

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it and left.

I pulled the ring off my finger and chucked it at him. "Don't come back, Tommy, ever." And I slammed the door in his face.

Sadie came from the family room. "Is it safe now?"

"Yeah," I muttered, "it's safe now."

She came farther into the entryway and locked me in a hug. "I've said it before, you're better off without him."

"At this point, I'm sure you're right."

"And this is probably the best for Tommy Jr."

"Right, and the most important thing in my life is Tommy Jr."

"Right."

"Yeah…" But would I really be better off without him?

AN: Poor Jude… Okay, sorry it took so long to update but since my keyboard is screwed up I have to use my mom's laptop and I can only use it every once in a while. Please R&R!


	21. Help Me If You Can

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 21: Help me if you can

I came into G Major, late, with Tommy Jr. in tow. "Sorry I'm late, Georgia."

Georgia just shook her head. "Um, no problem."

I continued my way farther into the lobby.

Kwest was in Studio A. "Oh hey, Jude."

"Hi…" I replied. He knew, everyone knew. They had to.

Sadie had been behind me the whole time. I turned around and handed Tommy Jr. to her. "Can you handle him right now? You can let him down and walk around if he wants."

"Sure thing, Sis." Even she had the sad tone that everyone did.

I walked around the lobby, not knowing what else to do.

"Jude," EJ called from the entrance. "You've got to see this." She handed me a tabloid.

"'Split down the center.' Great. Now I've got the tabloids on my ass for breaking off the engagement."

"Price of fame, Sweetie." She turned around and walked off.

"Jude!" Georgia yelled to me. "Stephanie Cruner from the WB is here."

"Thanks, Georgia." I walked over to Ms. Cruner and shook her hand. "Hello there, Ms. Cruner."

"Hello again, Ms. Harrison. Let's have a seat."

"Okay then." We sat down next to each other.

"So I've heard about the break up. Is it too bold to ask why?"

"No, it's not too bold. He, um, went on another tour and one night when I called him, there was a woman in the background."

"Ouch, that must've hurt."

"Guys will never learn."

"So the break-up is final?"

"As far as I'm concerned. I've given him enough chances."

"In that case, I'm sorry to inform you that we're going to have to cancel the movie deal."

I nodded. "I understand. The story has gone under…"

"I'm afraid it has."

"Well, thank you anyways." We both stood, and I shook her hand before she walked off.

"Jude," Kwest said to me. "Shay's here to see you."

"Thanks, Kwest," I replied. I walked over to Shay and said, "Hey."

"Hey, Jude," he answered. "C'mon, let's talk outside."

"Okay." I followed him outside and we sat on the curb.

"How are you doing since the break-up?"

"I'm okay, he deserved it."

"You've seemed to take all this in stride. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm okay really."

"You can't fool me, Jude."

I paused, tears starting to form in my eyes. I threw my arms around him and cried onto his shoulder. "I'm not okay."

He locked me in a hug. "I had a feeling that you weren't."

"I just don't understand it."

"Understand what?"

"Why he didn't love me…"

"He did."

"Then why did he run off whenever he could? Why did he move onto other girls whenever he had the chance?"

"Guys are stupid, Jude, they just are."

"He didn't love me. I know he didn't. He wouldn't have even come back to me if I didn't have a kid."

"Don't tell yourself that."

"It's true though."

"No, it's not. Tommy is stupid for not wanting you. You're perfect." He kissed my forehead gently.

"Thanks, Shay."

"Forget about Tommy."

AN: Poor Jude. Anyways, R&R! P.S. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and Happy Kwanzaa!


	22. Shay and Suing

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 22: Shay and Suing.

Shay came into G Major the next day and hugged me. "Are you feeling better?"

I frowned and shook my head. "It hurts, more than you could imagine."

"You just need to get him out of your head. Put him behind you." He kissed my temple, as if to shake it from my head.

"Don't get too comfortable with each other," EJ said coming in the lobby.

"Oh god, not more bad news, I can't take it," I replied.

"Then close your eyes, 'cause you're not going to want to see this." She shoved a newspaper at us and Shay grabbed it.

"'Reunited?' Are they joking? Shay and I are just friends. Nothing has happened. I find it funny that they didn't suspected anything less than a year ago but now they think I'm into him? Jesus, he's just trying to help me."

Shay just stayed quiet at my remark. "Follow me." He grabbed my arm and dragged me off into the studio.

"What's going on, Shay?"

"I can't take this anymore."

"You can't take what?"

"I can't take you being so damn hurt by Tommy anymore. I've watched you for the past year. You had his child then he came home. Then this happens. I care about you, Jude, and I'm so sick of this happening to you."

"I don't get what you're saying…"

"This might clear things up." Before I could respond, he pushed his lips against mine.

He broke away from me and my tears started to fall. "What are you doing?" I mumbled.

"Don't you get it, Jude?"

"Don't _you _get it? Things with Tommy just lost control and I can't handle anything anymore."

Shay sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry; I just don't want you to suffer. I should've thought before I acted." He turned to walk away but I hugged him.

"Give it time, Shay… It may happen sometime soon."

"Okay…"

I followed him out into the lobby where Sadie was waiting with Tommy Jr. in tow.

"Hey, Sades," I said.

"Here's Tommy Jr.," she replied, handing my son over to me. "He's seems to be doing okay."

"That's good."

"And how about you?"

"How about me what?"

"Are you doing okay?"

"I could be better."

"Yeah, I saw that tabloid. Haven't you been through enough hell? Why don't these morons just leave you alone?"

"Speaking of morons leaving you alone, I'm going to go," Shay interrupted, backing away,

Sadie let out a laugh. "What was that about?"

"Shay just told me he still likes me,"

Sadie covered her mouth but I could tell she was laughing. "Oh, that's so cute! But I'm guessing it's still too soon…"

"That's an understatement."

"Did you hurt him?"

"I told him that it could happen sometime."

"So basically, never?"

"No, not never. I just need a little time."

"Okay, whatever you say."

"I will, someday."

"If you insist."

"Can we just switch subjects?"

"Sure thing."

"Jude Harrison?" A deliveryman called from the door.

"Yes?" I replied.

The guy came over from the door and handed me a large envelope. He held out a clipboard and said, "Sign here."

I did as I was told and ripped open the envelope once he walked away. My eyes started watering as I continued reading. I dropped to the floor, trying not to hurt my son.

Sadie came up to me. "Jude, what's wrong?"

"Read…" I shoved the papers towards her and she took them from me.

"No way… He- he wants?"

I nodded. "He's suing for custody of Tommy Jr."

AN: Stupid Tommy. He needs to be shot in the foot… JK. Anyways, R&R


	23. What the Hell is wrong with you?

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 23: What the hell is wrong with you?

Sadie took Tommy Jr. from me. "I can't believe it…"

I stood up and wiped my eyes. "Sades, can you still watch him?"

"Yeah, sure, where are you going?"

"I need to go deal with something." I walked into Georgia's office. "Where is he?"

"What?" She asked looking up from her papers.

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Tommy."

"Oh, I don't know if I should tell you."

"How would you feel if you had a son and you're ex-husband, or in my case ex-fiancée, wanted to take him away? What would you do?"

"Probably rip him to shreds. But I get what you mean… He's staying at the Hilton."

"Thanks, Georgia." I walked out of G Major and headed towards the Hilton. As I walked, I started to get more frantic. What was going through his head? I started to jog. How could he do this to me? I broke into a run. All I wanted to do was get to where he was.

"Hello, may I help you?" A girl at the counter who looked to young to see a PG-13 movie let alone work at a hotel said.

"Um, I'm wondering what room Tom Quincy is staying in?" I asked.

She smiled and replied giddily, "Oh, yeah, he's in room 240."

"Thanks, and by the way, he has a kid." I twirled around and went up to his room. I knocked loudly and stood waiting. "Open up, Tommy!"

The door swung open and a girl not about a year older than me came out. Her hair was messed up and her shirt was buttoned wrong. She gave me a smile before she ran down the hall.

I entered the room slowly. I didn't know what I would find.

Tommy was standing right next to his bed. "Jude?"

I couldn't take it anymore and I just started to cry. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't understand," he replied confused.

I pushed him. "You want to take my son away from me!"

"He's my son too!"

"Barely! Technically if you left us alone for a whole year, it would count as abandonment! Then he wouldn't be your son!"

"I wouldn't do that to you!"

"Bull!"

He grabbed me by the upper arms and shook me. "No it isn't! I love you, Jude and I love our son! I'd never want to leave him!"

"But leaving me you're just fine with!" I tried to leave but he kept a grip on me. "Let me go."

"I don't want to."

"No matter what happens right now, I'm walking out that door without you. You might want to let me leave now."

"I don't want you to."

"It's over between us, get over it."

"That's just it! I don't want it to be over!"

I let out a sob. "But it is! I know it, you know it! 'Cause if you thought we weren't over, then that Twinkie wouldn't have been here!"

"I don't know how to respond to that. You've hurt me, Jude, I need something to numb the pain."

"What about before I hurt you? What about your tour?"

"You know what happens on tour."

"You misused my trust last time. Did you think the same rules applied?

"You have to know I'm sorry."

"I don't have to know anything."

"I don't want to fight with you anymore. Why'd you come here?"

"I want you to drop the lawsuit."

"I want to see my son."

"And no one was denying you that. I never said that you couldn't see our son. And if you don't drop the lawsuit, do you think you have a chance of winning? You were gone for the first four months of his life. Then you came back a month before you went on a six-month tour again. You've been gone for most of your son's life."

"I want to make-up for that."

"Just let it go, Tommy."

He paused. "Look, let me drive you back to G Major."

"Um, sure." I followed him out to his car where we drove off in silence.

Tommy pulled up in front of the building and got out. He walked around and opened my door for me.

I got out of the car and opened the door to the lobby. I looked back at Tommy. "Tom?"

He looked at me.

"We're throwing a party for Tommy's first birthday on the 1st of next month. You can come if you want…"

He gave me a weak smile. "Thanks, Jude." He climbed in his car and drove off.

AN: Poor Jude. Anyways, please R&R!


	24. I'm with Shay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or anything that I may refer to.

Chapter 24: I'm with Shay!

I sat happily at the table set up in the G Major lobby with Tommy Jr. in my lap. I listened as the group sang to my son. I helped him blow out his candle. I know that most people would see this as them getting old but I felt so happy.

The front doors opened as Tommy came in. "Sorry I'm late everyone," he called. He sat down next to me and kissed the top of our son's head.

The doors opened again and Shay came in this time. He sat down on my other side and kissed Tommy Jr.'s forehead. "How's my favorite one-year-old doin'?" He asked.

"Thay!" The little boy in my arms cooed.

I giggled and said, "Sorry, he's still working on saying 'Shay'."

"That's okay," he replied. "For now I can just be his uncle 'Thay'."

I smiled at him. I thought of everything he'd done for me, especially lately. He had been so great to me and I felt as if I needed to repay him.

Tommy stood up and clinked his knife against his glass. "Attention everyone!" He called over the uproar. "I would just like to say a few words." He smiled. "I know what most of you are thinking; who are you again?" He paused as the group laughed. "I know that I haven't been around for most of my son's life but I'm glad that I could be here for his first birthday." He smiled down at me. "And I have something that I want to ask Jude."

I could feel my stomach lurch. I didn't know what he wanted to ask me but I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be a good thing.

He knelt down so he was face to face with me. "Jude, I know that I've messed up in the past. I know that you have no reason to forgive me. I just want to know… Will you marry me?" He held up the engagement ring that I had thrown at him when I kicked him out.

I froze. "I- I- um…" I paused and knew what my answer was. "No." I stood and walked over to Sadie, giving her Tommy Jr. I walked into Studio A, Tommy on my heels.

"Jude, I don't understand…" He said softly.

I turned on him. "What don't you understand, Tommy? I said no. And don't you dare pretend that you don't know why."

"But I don't! I thought that we had connected recently, like we were getting on track again. I want us to be okay."

"Don't do this to me, Tommy!"

"Don't do what?"

"Make me the bad guy! Make me feel like this is all my fault! Because it's not! You were the one that cheated on me! What am I supposed to do? Just forget about it and continue in a lie of a life? No! I don't want that kind of life!"

"I know that I screwed up! But I've changed! I want to be with you and our son!"

"But that's too damn bad! Because I'm with Shay now!" I froze. It was true that I was starting to like Shay a little bit now, and he obviously liked me… But we hadn't talked about anything.

Lucky for me, Shay came into the studio. He put his arm around me and looked over to Tommy. "I'm sorry that you had to find out this way," he said. "We just felt we needed to hide it from you and everyone because we wanted to spare your feelings."

"Great…" Tommy muttered to himself. He looked up at me. "Jude, I'm just going to go." He brushed past me and walked out of G Major.

I turned to Shay and hugged him. "Thank you so much," I said gratefully.

I could feel his arms tighten around me. "I would do anything for you…" He replied. He let me go and nodded towards the door. "We should get back to the party."

"I meant what I said…" I blurted.

He looked back at me. "What are you talking about?"

"You've been so much better to me than Tommy. You've been more like a father to Tommy Jr. than he has. You've actually been there for his entire life. And I want you continue being there… For both of us."

He looked down at me with those intense eyes. His hand rested on the back of my neck and his soft lips gently kissed mine. "And I want to be there for you guys."

I hugged him once again. For the first time in a long time, I felt safe. Standing there in Shay's arms, I felt like nothing, no one, could hurt me. I wish I could feel like that all the time. But I knew Shay had to let me go.

"Let's get back to the party," he said, gesturing towards the door. He took me by the hand and walked back into the lobby.

Tommy Jr. woke me at 2:00 that morning. I picked him up from his crib and walked down into the kitchen. I could feel Sadie following right behind me. When we reached the kitchen, she took Little Tommy from my arms as I started to prepare the formula.

"So what's with you and Shay?" She asked me.

"What do you mean?" I replied, even though I knew exactly what she meant.

"Are you guys dating or what?"

"Yes we are."

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Why not?"

"If you are going to be with someone, shouldn't it be the father of your child?"

"I just can't deal with Tommy right now."

"I guess that's understandable."

"I mean, I like Shay. And while I like Tommy, I can't stand him."

AN: Ever just want to kill a guy? Join the club! Well, sorry that it took so long to update but I've been busy with school and getting over a fractured elbow. Anyways, please R&R!


	25. I don't want to be that guy

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 25: I don't want to be that guy

Shay and I sat on the floor of Studio A playing with Tommy Jr. when EJ came in. She handed us a tabloid. "This you with Shay story is really hot, Jude. It's great publicity."

I smiled. "Thanks EJ," I replied sarcastically. "I'm happy to let you use my love life as publicity."

After EJ left, Tommy came in. "Jude…" He said.

I sighed. "What, Tommy?"

"I was just coming to see if you minded me taking Tommy to get something to eat."

"Actually, Shay and I already did that. I'm sorry."

"Oh, okay…" He left the room, a little sad.

"Jude…" Shay said, scooting closer to me. "I need to talk to you about something."

"I don't like the sound of that," I replied.

"It's just seeing the look on Tommy's face just now, it makes me think about what we're doing."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Tommy is Tommy Jr.'s father, and I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Shay…."

"I don't want to be the guy that breaks up a family. And whether you want to believe it or not, that's what you guys are. You should be with him." He stood and kissed my forehead, leaving the studio.

AN: Sorry that this was so short but I felt that this was where this chapter needed to end. Please, I'm running out of ideas, again, and I would appreciate it if you could help me out. Anyways, please R&R!


	26. I want to be with you

Disclaimer: Not mine!

Chapter 26: I want to be with you.

I ran as fast as I could to the Hilton and up to Tommy's room, our son carefully secured in my arms. "Tommy!" I screamed pounding at the door. "Please, Tommy! It's Jude, please open up!"

Tommy opened the door slowly. "What, Jude? Are you just coming here to make me feel worse?"

"No… Shay made me think. Whether we believe it or not we are a family. A living breathing family. I want to be with you. And it took me a while to realize it but…" I took a deep breath. Could I still feel this way about him even after we've been through so much?

"But what?" He asked, a little impaitent.

"I love you."

Tommy stayed quiet.

I closed my eyes, afraid of what he might say. "Please…" I begged. "Please say something. Please just say _something _to make me feel better about this."

The next thing I know, his lips collided with mine in a force of passion. His hand clutched onto the back of my neck. Tommy Jr. squeaked as he was stuck between us.

We pulled away from each other and looked down at the little boy. "Mommy…" he cooed looking at me. His little head turned towards Tommy. "Daddy."

I looked up at his father. "We're a family. And we always will be."

AN: Sorry it took so long to update but it was stuck on my laptop which is spammed to death. So, it's the end of this fic! I hoped everyone liked it. And don't hesitate to look for more fanfics by MonsterChild!


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